I wish that I could save you from yourself. The fact that I already have notwithstanding.
As a dispatcher I am trained to save lives and have all the answers. I am trained to help any one in need. I am conditioned to go from a high stress call to dealing with an obnoxious drunk in mere seconds. I am conditioned to console a sobbing widower and with the next ring of the phone send help to the mother in labor while keeping her calm. When needed I can listen to 6 things at once and have unending patience and empathy. I can make a dozen decisions in one breath with only seconds to do so. I am the link to safety and the link to all the knowledge in my little world.
Then I go home and I can't tell you where I put my book. I have no idea what I want for dinner. I don't like much noise or talking on the phone, I do it all day why take it home? And then I think of you...what if the work version of me was the real me? Strong and infallible, lightning quick and always ready with the right answer.
Would it have been enough to save you?
Song for the post: B.O.B. - Airplanes
I could really use a wish right now.
To my readers, this is only a reflection of a moment long since past. :)
Ugh
1 year ago
wow... I really think most people in law enforcement can relate to this... You can't be all things to everyone all the time... You have to be this hero while you're on the job but you still need a break sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI feel ya sister.
ReplyDeleteIf this post isn't 100% true then I don't know what is.
ReplyDeleteI feel exactly the same way when I get home.
You are a mixture of both of those things due to your conscience and your character. All you have to do is find a happy medium. Sometimes it can take years.
ReplyDeleteI just went through a few days of department sponsored training I plan to write about in a few weeks. During the training they wanted us to write a 'personal mission statement.' I refused. Why? What harm could it do?
I told the instructor that after 22 years I had finally figured out the 'bright line rule.' Sticking to this rule means that when I turn off the cruiser in the driveway I am done for the night or the weekend and a refuse to let work intrude on my family/personal life. Vice-versa for personal life and work life. It works well for me. The only exception I make is to take one day off per week and teach five LE related classes as a local high school, for which I receive no monetary compensation.
I will post more on the instructor's reply to my statement in the coming week or two.
I work in the Er and when I go home my "give a shit" gets tossed in the driveway. I understand.
ReplyDeletecanoehead